For fashion week, we did a display of fashion related books and materials by the reference desk. It included a couple seasons of Project Runway.
I’m a big fan of Project Runway. It’s basically the only reality TV I’ve ever watched. 10 years ago, before I was married, my senior year of college, we lived in this house on Naismith that had free cable, and I watched the fuck out of that show while I worked on my thesis and planned my wedding. I was thin and beautiful and didn’t know it, and I didn’t care at all about style, really, and had no sense of my own taste. But I loved Heidi and Tim and the quirky designers.
I ended up checking out one of those seasons of Project Runway from the library. I don’t have cable now and even though my little brother brought me a little TV, it doesn’t get internet, so I can’t watch Netflix on it, which means I can’t have TV on in the background while I write or work on the computer. I like TV on in the background now that I live alone more than I did when I had Mister BS and the cats around to make their pleasant background noises. To make me feel less alone.
But watching Project Runway actually makes me miss Mister BS even more. We watched Season 2 together 5 years ago when I first started working at the library in Lawrence, and I hear echo’s of his impression of Santino’s impression of Tim Gunn’s every “make it work” even though I’m watching season 3.
And so, I pour myself a whiskey and text him about my day, ask him about his, and send selfies of me sitting in the dark (I have no lamps or overhead lights, just the christmas lights, snapping photos with flash on, with harsh light and silly faces and no makeup, and tell him stories of work (yeah I work on the weekends, just like him).
Living apart from my partner is hard. And oh, how I miss my cats. This job is not exactly what I expected and Santa Barbara is beautiful but not as warm (though it was fucking hot today), not as home as Lawrence. But I remind myself that it’s really only been three months and it’s really okay, and most of all, I am making it work.
So I’ll just keep on living like Tim Gunn is by my side, giving the best advise there is.
What’s your favorite advice?